What comes to your mind when you hear the word past? Memories? When we think about past, we activate the loop of memories. An infinite loop of memories running in the head. Memories are good and bad. But sometimes we go through very disturbing experiences while recalling those memories, causing sleepless nights. Memories and experiences which has shaped us and will shape our future.
We all have those friends who say, “It is only in your head, don’t think about it, think positive, and everything will be alright”. Such words can help us for few hours or even for few days. But you and I, we both know that it just doesn’t work. We know that those thoughts come back. And we must accept this truth of past before we can overcome it.
Can you change the past?
Wouldn’t it be great if we could change the past? We will definitely have a better future if nothing is holding us back, we can be a better person, we can make this life more beautiful. But how could you change something which has already happened? Practically we cannot time travel to the past. Neither we have a time machine nor any superpowers. Then how can we change the past?
We all face many unpleasant, embarrassing, and discouraging situations in our life. We often make bad decisions, some of which are really terrible one. Such cases are attached to the heart. Dwelling on such unpleasant moments makes those memories stronger. Why can’t you take your mind away from it? Why do we spend hours thinking about such unpleasant memories before sleeping? The answer is simple because you allow your negative thoughts to take control of your brain.
David J Schwartz said in “The Magic of Thinking Big”, our brain is like a bank. We deposit our thoughts in this mind bank. Our thoughts grow and become our memories. The manager of the bank does what you ask for. If you ask him for thoughts from the past proving how you are inferior to just everybody else, he will say remember how you failed previously when you were in the similar situation. Or remember you overheard your colleagues talking about you. But if you tell him, that you are in a difficult situation and you ask for thoughts which can help you then he will deliver thoughts that say you can succeed. He will say remember the excellent job you did in a similar situation before. So it’s up to you what do you want to withdraw. After all, it is your bank.
Why do we eat good quality food, either homemade or only from hygienic restaurants? Why don’t we regularly eat street food or food from so-called clean restaurants? Because that can cause indigestion or other stomach problems, right? Negative thoughts affect your mind the same way. Negative thoughts lead to worry, frustration, and mental problems. Negative thoughts keep holds you back to one place while others move forward.
Memories are stored in the group of neurons in our brain. Each neuron stores an instance of a situation. When we recall a memory, we use the pattern of these neurons. Recalling same memories, again and again, make them stronger. Like they are stored in the cache memory of our brain. Same way negative thoughts with repeated recall become your dark past. Repeated recalls makes such unpleasant memories stronger, so it becomes really hard to forget such things and to move on.
Changing the past and moving on is not that easy. The treatment to cure this problem is not easy. It requires a lot of awareness and strong will power. And it will take time; you have to be patient and willing to move on. You have to emphasize on positive thinking and withdrawing only positive thoughts from your memory bank.
When you are alone with your memories, or driving, or just spending time alone, think only about positive things. Recall pleasant moments of your life. Deposit positive thoughts in your memory bank. If anything negative comes up think about the positive side of that situation, the positive side is what did you learn from that situation. If you dwell on the negative thoughts just turn off your brain and restart with positive thoughts. Repeating this process will give you the confidence.
Every night before going to sleep deposit some good positive thoughts in your memory bank. Recall the good things you saw people doing today. Be thankful for the good things around you. Recall dreams and goals of your life. Recall your little achievements, and build confidence for the future.
Your past is just a story you tell yourself; it’s a story you choose to tell yourself. Yes, past can hurt. But you can either run from it or learn from it.
Your mind wants you to forget the unpleasant past. If you just cooperate, unpleasant memories will disappear. The manager in your memory bank will delete those memories and will withdraw only positive memories. If you simply refuse to recall unpleasant past it will become easy to forget the unpleasant memories. When you do this, you get confidence in your life. You get the feeling of being on the top of the world.
Focus on the good things happening in our life, and deal with the negative situations. Let us not consume our mind with negativity, let us consume our mind with positivity.